Published On: Thu, Jun 17th, 2010

Movie Mikes Review of ‘Jonah Hex’

MOVIE MIKES SCORE: ½ out of 4 stars

By: Mike Gencarelli

OK, first things first, I have one question. Why does all movies in the south have to take place on the Fourth of the July? Really? “Jonah Hex” starts off on the wrong foot from the its opening scene. Through an animated sequence in the beginning of the film, we view in fast forward who Jonah Hex is and what the story is about. By the time that intro is done, I was already tired of the character and the story, if that is possible.

I thought to myself, “Wow, they just told the whole story, what’s left?” I got an answer real quick when I found that there actually wasn’t much left after all.

“Jonah Hex” tells the brief and unclear story of a soldier turned outlaw turned bounty hunter in a very quick 75 minutes. That’s right, I said 75 minutes (without end-credits, which I did not stick around for). Honestly in that 75 minutes, I felt like it was over two hours.

The story follows Jonah as he travels as a bounty hunter doing God-knows-what for really no reason. It is explained in the beginning that he watched his family die at the hands of Quentin Turnbull, played by John Malkovich. He is scarred with the letters “QT” on his face. I am guessing though he tries to remove it and he looks like he does in the movie (Anyone?!) It one of the many things that really aren’t explained well. Hex is then bent on revenge to get back at Turnbull for destroying this life.

All these problems above stem from one thing: TERRIBLE EDITING.

What were they thinking releasing a comic book adaption that has such a great back story into a jumpy film that barely runs over an hour.

I haven’t even got to the acting yet. Josh Brolin was so great in “No Country for Old Men” and “W.” and this was just such a weak role for him to play. John Malkovich is always great in anything especially most recently in “Burn After Reading”, but he wasn’t used to his full potential and just seemed thrown in.

One of the only good parts of the movie was Michael Fassbender who played Malkovich’s henchmen. He was sharp and funny. Hmmm….let’s see did I forget anyone. Oh that’s right Megan Fox, which is because she isn’t even in the whole movie. I think if you added up all of her scenes they add up to less than 10 minutes and if you watched the trailer every scene that she is in are shown in the trailer.

As much as it pain me to speak bad about this film after actually thinking it had potential, STAY AWAY! You cannot get that 75 minutes back that you will waste in this movie. I would say wait for DVD but honestly I do not even think it is worth even that unless they come up with some ridiculous director’s unrated cut which in fact is an entirely new movie.

Directed by: Jimmy Hayward
Produced by: Akiva Goldsman, Andrew Lazar
Starring: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Michael Fassbender
Studio: Warner Bros.
Running time: 75 minutes (w/o credits)

Our Score:  1/2 out of 4 stars

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See the review here: http://moviemikes.com/2010/06/film-review-jonah-hex/

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