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Published On: Wed, Jul 1st, 2020

How To Help Your Elderly Parents Move

Our parents are everything, and it feels great to see them happy and healthy all the time. However, as they grow older, it becomes gradually hard for them to depend on themselves in doing most activities fully. And as much as you want them to continue living independently for a long time, it is not always possible.

Most parents will not want to bother their children to take care of them even if they need close care. They feel like they are burdening their children and, therefore, might hide their true feelings or health conditions to avoid being a bother. Therefore, as their child, you need to notice changes in their health and acknowledge that it is time for them to move to a place they will be comfortable and adequately taken care of.

photo/ StockSnap

Starting the conversation to move will never be as easy as a walk in the park — you might find yourself taking longer than you expected. However, as long as you have realized that your parents are no longer safe living in their home, you must have this conversation. Some of the signs that would help you decide that it is time include:

  • Deteriorating health
  • Forgetfulness
  • Poor self-hygiene
  • Frequent falls around the house, and
  • Messy house all the time, among others

Once you decide to move, also consider evaluating the place where your parents should move. The place depends on the underlying conditions, that is, the care they need and its availability. For instance, you may want to live with your parents in your home, but unfortunately, you live alone or do not have enough time to take care of them.

Apart from your home, other places you can move your parents to include nursing homes, assisted living, retirement communities, and veteran’s communities, among others. As long as they get assistance to complete many ADLs and IDLs, then you are good to go.

Once all this is decided and done, it is time to make that move, and without a doubt, it can be a very hectic process. For one, most elderly parents tend to be reluctant about leaving their home or changing the resident. That said, here are a few things you can do to help your elderly parents move smoothly.

  1. Communicate Effectively

Approaching your parents about moving from their home is not easy at all, but there is no other way around it. You must communicate with them in a very effective manner to ensure that you are on the same page about the whole process. Allow them to make their decisions too about it. This does not mean that you won’t disagree along the way, but the fact you involved them means a lot.

Make sure that you begin this conversation long enough before making up the decision because you need to prepare them both mentally and physically that they won’t be living there anymore. Leave every decision open for discussion, and eventually, you will agree on some grounds about the whole process.

  1. Discuss the Place

The good thing about this step is that there are different places where your parents can start their new lives and be comfortable. However, allow them to take part in deciding about this place. Where they move depends a lot on the kind and extent of care they need, and you and your loved ones must choose based on that fact.

Other things to consider are the budget — will your parents’ insurance cover their stay in the new resident, or can you afford the cost? This is a cost that you will need to meet for some time, and therefore, should make a smart move. Once you agree on the right place to move, begin the search for the right place. Think about the post office change address also, because you do not want to miss important parcels for you and your family.

Ask your loved ones about the services they wouldn’t like to miss in their new stay. For instance, your parents may have always had an idea of the place they want to live in their old age, or maybe they want a home with a spa or exercising center. Once you involve them in making such a decision, it will be very easy to make a move because they participated in it.

  1. Plan the Moving Day

As for the D-day, you need to involve everyone in the family so that they can be there for their loved ones as well. Also, make sure you help your loved ones pack the things they want to carry to their new home. Never consider packing for them in their absence — you never know what they value most to leave behind. Ask them how they want their new room to look like, including the arrangement of things inside.

If you need a moving company to assist in smooth moving, start looking for one early enough. Some people prefer using their cars since only a few things need to be carried along. It is good to have everyone on board as it makes the elderly parents know that they are loved. Also, the more you are, the less you will need to hire a moving company, and hence a reduced cost of moving. Communicate in detail the day and plan for the move to everyone, including the parents. Let everyone get prepared early enough for a smooth move.

  1. Ensure That the Parents Settle In Well

It’s amazing that now your parents have moved to their new place regardless of what it is. Remember that it might be difficult for them at first before they can get accustomed to it. Therefore, offer them as much support as you can. If you are living with them, spend a lot of time, and allow other family members to pay numerous visits to them in your home. And even if they are in a nursing home, make sure you regularly visit as long the institution allows it.

However, in this case, regularly should not be every other day of the week. They might never get used to living alone in the new home, and when you are not available, they might never understand. Give them time to understand the new home at the beginnings while appearing maybe twice or thrice in a week. Having people they recognize may encourage them to socialize with other people around them. Remember, never neglect your parents after moving them to a nursing home, even ten years after — it is torturous, and they do not deserve it.

  1. What Do You Do With The Old Place?

The first thing you need to do with the old home is fixing it up. Start by carrying out a thorough cleaning and renovate everything that needs some touches here and there. Make sure that your parents know about this by showing pictures. It doesn’t matter if you are living in it, have plans to rent it out or sell it, you must give closure to your parents by fixing it up. Again before you sell the house, remember the post office change address. You will make your parents extremely happy, even if they do not live there anymore. If you are selling the home or renting it out, agree with the parents and the whole family on how the proceedings will be used.

We all wish that our parents never get to that point of needing extreme care that forces us to move them to form their lovely homes. However, it is quite unavoidable. You only need to ensure that they are comfortable with the entire moving process and everyone in the family is involved.

Author: Brenda Vollman

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  1. […] do you handle moving during a pandemic? You do good research about the area you are moving to and prepare everything in detail. Recent suggestions to revert to more strict protective measures, may or may not happen. It will […]

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