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Published On: Tue, Jul 16th, 2019

Heading for divorce the practical way

Do you feel that your marriage has reached a point where you can no longer live with your partner? Now, this is a major emotional turmoil. Dealing with a divorce is difficult because you have to live with the fact that you will no longer be with the person you spent years together.

The truth is that once such a situation arises, then crying or pondering over the issue will not help. You will need to adopt a practical view point so that you can move forward in life. We will give you a step by step guideline to deal with the process in a dignified way.

Photo by Gerd Altmann

Preparing for the divorce

If you made up your mind to get separated from your partner, then the essential step is that you need to do a bit of research work related to divorce. You need to be aware of how the divorce process works.

However, you should not be willing to step into the court right away. There are better options available. Initially, you should think along the lines to opt for divorce mediation. The reason is that it is a peaceful option when it comes to a divorce.

Organize your finances

You also need to keep some bitter facts in mind. The truth is that divorce comes with financial hurdles. Well, this means that you should get ready to organize your finances. If you do not have the finances to deal with the divorce, then it will become a more complex issue, and you will have to fight two fronts at the end of the day.

The important step is that you should prepare a list of assets and debts so that you have a clear picture of how to go about the asset distribution.

Ideally, you should have a plan to run your house smoothly and have finances for the court proceedings also. The bitter fact is that most people are unaware of how they should go about the divorce process.

Seek the assistance of an expert

The easier solution is to hire an expert. If you are based in San Diego, then you should make sure that you seek the assistance of San Diego divorce lawyer right away.

The mistake most people do is that they leave the divorce negotiations to the lawyer. You should be aware of the facts, and take charge of the situation. The important step is that you should actively take part in your divorce negotiations so that you do not have any surprises coming your way.

When you talk about divorce with your spouse, then it is essential that you should put your emotions aside. You will need to prepare yourself emotionally for this dilemma. It will not be a bad idea to seek emotional support at this point in time.

When you seek emotional help, then it will become easy for you to deal with this tough phase. When you are in the process of preparing yourself for divorce, then make sure that you do not go off-track and refrain from venting your emotions on social media.

Selecting your divorce lawyer

Shortlist the best divorce lawyers

When you are in the process of selecting your divorce lawyer, then you need to be wise.  You should not choose the first lawyer that comes your way. The truth is that it is a bad approach for selecting an attorney. Ideally, you should shortlist about three different attorneys before making your pick.

What you need to do is conduct an interview with these lawyers before making your pick. You should keep one key criteria in mind when choosing your lawyer. He needs to specialize in family law.

Now, it is understandable that you are looking for the best option. The ideal candidate needs to have the experience and legal knowledge to fight your case in the best possible way. If your chosen attorney is experienced regarding your jurisdiction, then he is in a better position to guide you about your legal strategy.

There is no denying the fact that finding a good divorce attorney is a challenging endeavor. However, you can ask your real estate attorney to suggest a good option, or you can also ask your friends for recommendations.

Questions to ask the divorce attorney on the first consultation

When you have shortlisted the best divorce lawyers, then you can start with a simple phone call, and put up your set of questions. The divorce is an agonizing process, and you want to get over this process as soon as possible.

Well, this is why you will want your lawyer to work promptly on this case. When you talk with the lawyer for the first time, then the most important question that you need to raise is how often he will communicate regarding your case.

The lawyers who have a proactive approach make it a point to adopt a communication style that suits the client. However, if your case is complex, then you will need to talk more frequently with your lawyer.

You should also question the lawyer how he will encourage amicable communication between you and your spouse during the divorce process. The good news is that he can provide you the necessary guidelines and tips so that you can reach a settlement at the earliest.

An experienced lawyer will let you know the right timing when you should communicate with your spouse. Plus, he will also let you know the tone you should adopt when communicating.

Another concern that worries most people is how the lawyer will keep your records safe. There is no harm to put up this question to your lawyer. Your lawyer will make it a point to inform you about how they store and transmit information and this way you will be confident of the fact that you are trusting the right person for the job.

Most lawyers make it a point to send the electronic copies of the file to the client so that he or she can view the file at his or her convenience.

Now, when you are seeking a divorce, then there are potential mistakes that you should avoid by all means. We will reveal those mistakes right here.

Mistakes to avoid when selecting a divorce lawyer

Choosing an aggressive lawyer

What most people believe is that if they hire aggressive lawyers, the case will end in their favor. Well, this is not true at all. When you are fighting a divorce case, then it is essential to handle the matter in a tactical way. If your lawyer handles your spouse in an aggressive way, then this approach is bound to hit back.

It will make matters complicated, and it will become difficult to reach a settlement with your spouse. If your lawyer has a combative approach, then the trust factor is bound to vanish, and your ex-spouse will become defensive.

The result is that you will end up spending high legal fees, especially if you pay your lawyer per hour. Now, the question is how you will identify such a lawyer. You need to judge the person at the first meeting.

If the lawyer states that he is all set to crush the opponent, then it is an indicator that he is an aggressive person, and will make your case worse. Secondly, you should always talk to the former clients of an attorney to get an idea about his attitude.

After communicating with the former clients, you will get an idea if the lawyer is in the habit of yelling at the proceedings. Plus, an aggressive lawyer will add up to your aggression to you. He may not be in a position to give you sane advice when you need it the most.

Selecting an overly positive lawyer

We talked about aggressive lawyers, but there is another category of lawyers you should avoid by all means.  What you need to keep in mind is that overly positive lawyers can also make your case worse. For example, if the lawyer promises that he will get the full-custody of your kids, then you are in for trouble.

It is essential that the lawyer should judge the case and give you a realistic picture. He should be reliable and willing to communicate the true picture of the case. If he keeps you in the dark, then sudden revelations can be more devasting and can disturb your mental state of mind.

Keep all these aspects in mind when picking your divorce attorney. You need to have a comfort level with your lawyer. If you are apprehensive about anything, it is essential to talk it out. Choosing the wrong attorney will add to your misery, and this is something that you will not want at the end of the day.

If you want your divorce proceedings to go smooth, be upfront, and do not hide any facts from your lawyer no matter how unpleasant they are. When your lawyer is aware of your situation, he will leave no stone unturned to end things in your favor.

Author: Michael Wright

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