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Published On: Sat, Dec 21st, 2013

5 Worst Christmas Songs

This post was spawned out of a discussion at work over a few songs that I despise at Christmas. It’s okay if you disagree, fire back in the comment section.

5. Little Drummer Boy

This is the one most people will be angry with me about. Let me say that I don’t hate this one and enjoy some of the versions, but here’s how it makes the list: the lyrics.

50% or more of the song is “Rum pum pum pum” so not exactly climbing the charts on creativity. I respect the purity of the message (giving God what you have, even when you have nothing but praise) but how about some lyrics. Maybe someday I’ll write a Drummer Boy 2.0

Santa Claus listening music DJ Santa

photo by DJ Santa via wikimedia commons/public domain

This is one song I enjoyed for years until I truly listened to the words.

Basically the song is about a guy trying to get lucky, gets the girl drunk and may at one point, slip her a roofie – “Say… What’s in this drink? ”

3. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

Good intentions don’t yield good results and this song is pitchy and prickly and I don’t want to ever…ever…ever see “Mommy tickle Santa Claus” under his beard or elsewhere. (Lyrics)

 2. Santa Baby

I feel dirty when I hear this song. I don’t need a disturbing visual of Marilyn Monroe singing to President Kennedy (I don’t know how it got there to begin with) but I can ‘t shake the weird association and imagery this song evokes.

BTW, she’s a greedy lil’ gal.

1. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

Many folks haven’t been scarred by this song by Gayla Peevey, so included a rendition below.

I know it’s a novelty song by a little girl from the 1950’s, but someone should intervene and stop this travesty from still being aired.

The song is full of lies: hippos are not nice, they don’t fit through doors and you don’t want to even think about how they do their business.

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About the Author

- Writer and Co-Founder of The Global Dispatch, Brandon has been covering news, offering commentary for years, beginning professionally in 2003 on Crazed Fanboy before expanding into other blogs and sites. Appearing on several radio shows, Brandon has hosted Dispatch Radio, written his first novel (The Rise of the Templar) and completed the three years Global University program in Ministerial Studies to be a pastor. To Contact Brandon email [email protected] ATTN: BRANDON

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