What Not to Do After Break Ups: 5 Do’s and Don’ts After a Heartbreak
Break ups are one of the worst things ever and can cause complicated emotions. To ensure you move on, here are 5 do’s and don’ts to follow.
Have you recently broken up with your boyfriend? Whether you ended the relationship, or he did, break ups are hard. But with emotions running high, it can be difficult to know what to do after he breaks up with you.
photo/ beeboys via adobe stock license
Don’t worry, we’re here to help! Read on for 5 do’s and don’ts when dealing with break ups.
- Allow Yourself to Feel Sad
Do allow yourself time to feel sad and process your emotions. If you want to stay in on a Saturday night and watch sappy rom-coms with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s, that A-OK! You don’t have to get back on the horse, so to speak, right away.
Don’t wallow in Self Pity. You need to know the different between a healthy wallow and spiraling into an all-out depression. Your break up shouldn’t ruin any of your other relationships.
- Self-Care
Do focus on self-care. Are you saying, “I just broke up with my boyfriend”? Well then, there’s no better time to look after yourself. Do at least one thing each day that makes you happy, looks after you and helps with processing your feelings. Take some “me-time”, read a good books about relationship and look after yourself.
Don’t start thinking there’s something wrong with you. There isn’t. There’s nothing you need to “fix”. If a relationship doesn’t work, they weren’t the right fit for you. Someone else will be, and when they come along, they’ll love you for who you are.
- Distance
If you’re sitting here thinking “Just broke up with my boyfriend, but I miss him” that’s natural. But distance here is the key.
Do make sure you discuss how you’ll handle encounters. Sometimes, you can’t avoid an ex. Even if your break up was rough, try to keep things polite. But remember, you can’t control how someone else behaves. If they can’t stick to the agreement, be the bigger person and don’t engage.
Don’t bring up old wounds by going to places you know he will be. Running into the ex is tough at the best of times, but it’ll be even worse in places that mean something to you both. And if you’re thinking “Should I call him after a break up”? — that’s a big no-no as well!
- Moving On
Don’t commit to a new relationship too fast in an attempt to feel better. If you aren’t over your ex yet, you’ll end up comparing them to your current partner. In the end, it’ll only hurt you and your new partner more.
Do move on when you feel ready. Wait until you feel you’re ready, then jump back into the dating. There’s no rush, take your time. But when the time is right, hit those dating app to find a more suitable partner and move on.
- Reflect
Do spending time reflecting on what didn’t work. This can help you find peace and closure faster. Sure, he might have been handsome, but were you always paying the check? Or he was great to snuggle up to, but he never encouraged you to better yourself?
Don’t get stuck dwelling on negatives. You can learn a lot about yourself through relationships — the good, the bad and the ugly. But if you dwell on the bad stuff will keep you going round in circles. You’ll end up feeling resentful and angry and get stuck in the past. You need to let go.
Dealing with Break Ups Made Easy
So, there you have it! Now you know these five dos and don’ts, you’ll be better prepared to handle any break ups. It is important that after a break up you avoid drastic action while your emotions are hot. The last thing you want to do is something you later regret. So, take your time, process your feelings and move on.
Author: Ivan
