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Published On: Mon, Jul 15th, 2013

NY Times article highlights hookup lifestyle in college, how women can ‘play that game too’

 A new article in the NY Times highlights the growing trend away from relationships towards hookups on the nearby college campus. In particular is the shift in women seeking out “one night stands” or “friends with benefits” instead of steady relationships.

“We don’t really like each other in person, sober,” a University of Pennsylvania junior said of her regular hookup, adding that “we literally can’t sit down and have coffee.”

Femke Jenkins Photography

Femke Jenkins Photography

Terms like ‘cost-benefit’ and ‘low risk and low investment costs’ explain away the decision for a sexual relationship without the commitment.

“I positioned myself in college in such a way that I can’t have a meaningful romantic relationship, because I’m always busy and the people that I am interested in are always busy, too,” she said.

“And I know everyone says, ‘Make time, make time,’ ” said the woman, who spoke on the condition of anonymity but agreed to be identified by her middle initial, which is A. “But there are so many other things going on in my life that I find so important that I just, like, can’t make time, and I don’t want to make time.”

The Blaze summarized the list of quotes from different women:

  • “‘I’ve always heard this phrase, ‘Oh, marriage is great, or relationships are great — you get to go on this journey of change together.’ That sounds terrible. I don’t want to go through those changes with you. I want you to have changed and become enough of your own person so that when you meet me, we can have a stable life and be very happy.”
  • “I definitely wouldn’t say I’ve regretted any of my one-night stands. I’m a true feminist. I’m a strong woman. I know what I want.”
  • “Ten years from now, no one will remember — I will not remember — who I have slept with. But I will remember, like, my transcript, because it’s still there. I will remember what I did. I will remember my accomplishments and places my name is hung on campus.”
  • “I wasn’t very drunk — I was close to sober. I’m like, ‘O.K., I could [lose my virginity] now. He’s superhot, I like him, he’s nice. But I’m not going to expect anything out of it, either.’ I could take the chance that one night I get really drunk and sleep with someone that I don’t want to sleep with, which probably is what would have ended up happening.” After she had sex with him, he walked her home in the morning. “Honestly, all of my friends, they’re super envious, because I came back with the biggest smile on my face. All of my friends are jealous, because I had such a great first experience.”
  • “There’s this hypothetical, ‘I would like to be in a relationship, because it’s like comforting and stable and supportive.’ But then, the conversations that I’ve had, it’s always like, ‘Well, then what do I do when we get to May, because we’re graduating, and so where do we go from there?’ That uncertainty is a huge sort of stop sign.”
  • “It’s kind of like a spiral. The girls adapt a little bit, because they stop expecting that they’re going to get a boyfriend — because if that’s all you’re trying to do, you’re going to be miserable. But at the same time, they want to, like, have contact with guys.”
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About the Author

- Roxanne "Butter" Bracco began with the Dispatch as Pittsburgh Correspondent, but will be providing reports and insights from Washington DC, Maryland and the surrounding region. Contact Roxie aka "Butter" at [email protected] ATTN: Roxie or Butter Bracco

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  1. » College Kids Are Having Sex and Not Majoring in English – The Atlantic Wire says:

    […] PostDo college women just want sex and not relationships?Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog)NY Times article highlights hookup lifestyle in college, how women can 'play …The Global Dispatchall 10 news […]

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