Navigating an Ugly Divorce: How to Protect Your Children
No parent wants to cause their child unnecessary harm. In fact, no parent wants their child to come to any harm at all. When it comes to divorce, however, harm can be inevitable, and without the parents truly knowing. Breaking up with your partner can cause stress to your child, but so too can staying in a hostile relationship. There is no win-win, and not every divorce can end amicably. There will be cases where there are custody issues or monetary issues. Divorce can be a time when couples try to hurt the other, and it is this aggression that hurts your children the most.
photo/ Tumisu via pixabay
Protecting your children should be your priority. If that means putting on a smile and playing nice with your partner while you sort out your divorce, so be it. If it means doing everything in your power to get your children away from an abusive parent, then make that number one on your list of things to do. As a parent, you have a duty of care, so make sure you keep them safe and out of harm’s way.
- Never Badmouthing Your Partner
Badmouthing your partner makes things complicated for your children. It places them in the middle and forces them to choose sides; it also shows a deep lack of respect for your partner. Even in the worst of relationships where abuse was present, badmouthing your partner won’t get the results that you want.
Instead, explain the situation. Explaining why and how your partner’s behavior was inexcusable can help your children understand and process what has happened, rather than dealing with your anger. If you need help, then ask a professional for help. Abuse is a sensitive issue, so you need to get it right straight away.
- Getting Started on a New Routine
Children thrive on routine, and divorce disrupts a child’s usual way of life. To prevent any upset, you should try to get your children on a new routine as soon as possible. Make sure they go on to every practice and after-school activity, share your time with your children evenly, and so on. You can have a good relationship with your children if you and your partner work hard on ensuring that you are there for them (together, if need be).
- Hiring a Lawyer
Divorces can always get messy, and that’s even without fighting over custody or financial matters. For minimal upset, it is best for couples with families to hire family solicitors in London or whichever city you live in, where they can be certain to get the legal advice necessary to make the divorce as fast as possible.
- Taking Legal Action
In the worst cases, divorce is the end to an abusive relationship. Depending on the type of abuse, it is up to you to decide whether taking legal action is appropriate or not. If your partner has ever hit you or your child, for instance, you owe it to yourself and to your children to ensure that they are protected to the best of your ability. Jail time or restricted visiting hours are all appropriate steps to take if you are in any way concerned about your child’s safety.
Divorce can be a horrible time for any family, but the more you and your partner try to work through it together, the better your family as a whole can get through it. That being said, your children are your priority, and if you in any way doubt their safety, you owe it to them to do your best to protect them in any way you can.
Author: Carol Trehearn
