Bonding Strategies for May to December Couples
The obsession with romantic relationships can be seen with all the holidays, media topics, and even everyday banter dedicated to it. But when you are part of what many consider to be an unconventional pairing, you may feel even more pressure to deliver. Some believe that bonding with someone closer to your age is easiest, so if you happen to have several years separating you and your partner, it may feel that the odds might be against your favor. Regardless of the status of your relationship age gap or not, there are many creative ways to keep the passion alive even outside of the bedroom.
Photo by Pete Linforth
1. Get to know each other as individuals.
When an age gap is involved, it can be intimidating to view your partner as a part of a whole instead of an individual. Even if you might initially see your partner as somebody’s grandparent, parent, or child, it is important to remember that first and foremost, they are an individual. While their relationships with their family members (who might be similar to your own age) are likely to have an impact on how they behave and the lifestyle they lead, there are many more defining dimensions to your partner.
2. Try something new for both of you.
It can be tempting to model your dates after stereotypical ideas from your own age group, but that may be tricky when it comes to a relationship with an age gap. Just as someone in their fifties might not enjoy a college frat party, a twenty-something might struggle to feel at ease spending the day teeing off with a more mature group playing 18-hole golf.
While stereotypes are broken all the time and you and your partner may pleasantly surprise each other with shared interests, you should not feel pressured to force each other to enjoy something if you clearly do not. As an alternative, consider activities that all age groups can enjoy, or bond over sharing an experience that’s new or unique for you both.
3. Share your passions with each other.
A common trait that many find sexy is confidence. What better way to show it off than through something you are passionate about? While some activities might be best left to enjoy with a circle of friends in your own peer group, there’s no harm in sharing a personal session with each other. Whether you want to share a private electric guitar jam session, or the secrets behind your award-winning chili recipe, use your passions as an opportunity to both teach and learn something new.
4. Focus on the ways you are alike.
Unless you and your partner appear to be the same age, you might be familiar with your fair share of judging looks. The criticism that comes with having an unconventional relationship can be stressful and can give you the impression that you two are worlds apart. The reality is that age aside, you and your partner might be a lot more similar than you think. Perhaps you both work in the same field, enjoy traveling and exploring together, and have the same quirky sense of humor on top of undeniable sexual chemistry. Whatever those similarities are, embrace them and use them as reminders for your relationship is destined for greatness.
5. Communicate
Any relationship expert will emphasize the importance of good old fashion communication. If this is your first May-December romance (or even your fifth), you may have many questions that need answers. As your relationship progresses, you should feel more comfortable to exchange information with each other that allows you to understand your partner on a deeper level that will improve your ability to connect. Whether you are working on embracing the good or learning from the challenges, make an effort to do it together.
